APH- Ger'murica: An Unusual Pairing in a Crack Story
by Hetastic Bro
Summary: This is my first crackfic. I hope you find it amusing! :D My friend chose the pairing for me, btw. PS; I don't own the Hetalia franchise, Himaruya Hidekaz does


Once again, it was another normal world meeting. France and England were bickering like usual, Romano was annoyed as fuck with his boss, Spain, who never stops smiling at his little henchman, Japan and Hungary discussing their OTPs, everything was going as it always has been. But then, Germany suddenly shot up from his seat, a scary look in his eye.  
He declared a very important and life threatening decision.

"I must travel to…ZHE TOILET!" He bellowed.

At that moment, every living being in the room ceased any movement. All the countries were either still in their seats or in an awkward position in the middle of whatever they were doing previously before the sudden, yet weird demand. They all knew the country very well. Germany would _never _in a million years ask someone to come with him to a location as simple as _the toilet, _but here he is, standing above them all, looking very serious indeed.

"I need a trusted country to accompany me during zhis journey." The muscular one instructed. The countries decided to stay silent and to not move a muscle, this must've been a joke planned by the German nation. Whatever it was, they weren't buying it.

"AMERICA, ACCOMPANY ME!" The blonde barked at the spectacled nation, pointing directly in his direction.  
"OK~!" America jumped up from his seat, excitedly. He cheerfully jogged to Germany and huggled him affectionately, clutching to one of his totally ripped arms. All the nations stared in pure WTF, thoughts and questions swirled around in their minds. Who is this guy? Italy much? Is this a new ship I see?

Germany was both surprised and embarrassed by the American's public gesture; his face turned a deep crimson. Despite that, he huggled America back, making England roll his eyes in turn causing Hungary's yaoi senses to tingle and snapped a picture, Japan began writing notes down for his new doujin with a crazed sparkle in his soulless eyes.

The two males then proceeded to make a loud whistle. Moments after, a crappy horse carriage arrived. Two white horses pulling a dumpster-worthy transportation vehicle crashed straight through the wall next to the actual door. Canada cursed out loud in French, due to the fact the meeting was held at his house this time round. And behind the reigns was none other than the awesome Prussia.

"Velcome to mein fucking carriage, ladies~." He sneered, dusting rubble and plaster off his fancy tailcoat. Germany was irritated, but it was definitely beat having no money to afford a cab. America greeted Prussia with a brofist and boarded the carriage, Germany following after him. When their buttocks were firmly planted in the seats of the carriage, they were off. The ride was creaky and clearly unpleasant, but they held on.

The German scolded his brother, asking him why he hasn't repaired the carriage in the past 6 years. Where Prussia simply replied, "You guys better not complain, sit your damn asses down und shut up".  
"HOHO!" Germany shouted back, "HOW DARE YOU, BRUDER! I AM ZHE SAILOR MOON KAWAII NEKO-CHAN; GERMANY!" _What sort of fucked up drugs did Japan feed Germany this time?_ America questioned, raising an eyebrow in pure confusion.  
"I VILL TRANSFORM UND DESTORY YOU, USING MEIN FLUFFY PINKU MAGIC DESU~!" He stood up from his seat and made a stance that both surprised and bewildered the two other men.

"FINAL FORM INITIATE!" Sparkles and pink smoke started to surround the German, a gay transformation theme playing in the background.  
"Vhat zhe fucks vith jou, Vest?!" The albino nation panicked  
But it was too late, the transformation had begun.

Germany's military clothes were replaced by a white tunic with a silk ribbon fashioned with a gem on his chest, and a schoolgirl's skirt, that is way too short for his manly thighs, fluttered into view. The scuffed heavy duty boots now white high heeled ones. His slicked back hair grew into two long silky twin ponytails; a little tiara appeared across his forehead. The peculiar metamorphosis was done.

"TRANSFORMATION COMPLETE!" The now fabulous man thundered.  
He was now preparing to cast a magical spell, summoning all his kawaii laser beams and sugoi manliness.  
"NOW, MAGIC MAKE—_!"_

_SMACK! _America slapped Germany across the face.  
"Shut the fuck up, dude! Seriously!" America shouted, girly tears welling up in his blue eyes. "You're scaring me."  
Germany placed his hand on his stinging cheek.  
"How d-dare you, mein liebe. I vill have mein reveng—" _SMACK!_  
"We aint goin' to da toilet no more, fool!" The younger nation sassed, clearly upset with his comrade's poor display of sexiness.

And with that, America did his pre-battle Z-formation finger snap and repeatedly slapped the German nation, back and forth, back and forth, while Prussia watched completely astounded by his younger brother's actions, but was more amused by what he was wearing as he laughed like a dying seal, gasping for air. As the carriage rode on, the only sound that could be heard was the _SMACK SMACK SMACK _of an American hand to a German face.

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Haha, hope you enjoyed my first crackfic! I would appreciate it if you gave it a review and told me what you thought of it. ^^


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